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(Anti) Suicide Poem

My mother, Pamela Mordecai,  is an accomplished, prolific and well-published poet and author. There is an amazing collection of videos of my Mom reading her poetry recorded and hosted online by Memorial University. My father, Martin Mordecai, is also a well-published, though not-so-prolific, writer.

Me, I just have one short, simple poem that I wrote when I was feeling especially desolate. I think it speaks to reality for some of us when we find suicidal thoughts to be a preoccupation, especially a preoccupation we believe we cannot share with those we love.

No Comfort

No comfort, love that binds me here.
No solace, keeping in its care
my selfish thoughts,
arrested must
be silent threats of broken trust.

 

No testament can silence give
of love,
nor make
a will to live.

 

They cannot know,
nor understand,
and yet my love
will stay
my hand.

 

A love
that does not satisfy
can still usurp a wish to die.


 

If you are feeling suicidal, engaging in self-harm, or thinking actively about suicide please let someone in your life know and reach out for help. Thoughts of suicide can be a strange form of comfort sometimes, but preoccupation with suicidal thinking that grows and progresses to investigating plans is a sign that our perceptions of our problems and our suffering are overwhelming us and we are in a crisis. I remember the impact of a website that encouraged me to put just a small amount of the effort I was devoting to thinking about suicide into reaching out for help. Please reach out.

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