Recently, I met someone who brought Tantra to my attention. Such are the workings of my ADDled mind that when I visited his website before we met, I did not read what he had written about Tantra, so we did not discuss how his understanding connected with my experience. Such is life. We met for other reasons, and I read about Tantra on his site only after our last meeting. He has requested that I not identify him in my writing, so I am not linking to his site here. This post does not explore the sexual dimension of Tantra, but I expect future writing of mine will, though it may take some time to emerge.
When you become all, when you become one with all, when you are as huge as this universe, when you contain all – when stars start moving within you and earths are born in you and disappear – when you have this cosmic expansion, then the work is finished.
You have come home. This is the goal of TantraALSO
The heart is breaking out of joy, the heart is breaking out of delight, sheer delight. In a certain moment joy becomes unbearable…
Osho, Tantric Transformation, When Love Meets Meditation
I wonder how many people who have a bipolar diagnosis can relate to those passages? And how hard some of us who can relate to them try to contain or avoid the state of mind in which we can relate to them?
I am wary of gurus like Osho, even though much of what I have read of his writing holds wisdom familiar to our plural system. There is antisemitism, misogyny, and racism in some of the language and examples Osho uses but that does not mean that the wisdom he is sharing is not valid. It seems unlikely that he held those prejudices deeply, given his teachings. It is impossible to know his mind and our awareness of how certain phrases and language promote prejudice has grown since these talks were recorded. He was human and humans are not perfect. Another reason I am wary is the contradictions in how he talks about religion and Tantra, and how he describes himself and his relationship to his followers. Ultimately, it seems Tantra covers itself through its embrace of contradiction. That embrace is an approach to awareness that the experiences I have had has made essential.
Part of me is tempted to expound on how those unusual experiences of consciousness connect to what I have read of Tantra by Osho and others. Overall, I am reluctant to say a great deal. The ineffable nature of those states of mind is such that they do not lend themselves to credible explanation. I have written a lot about those experiences on this site, but not with that focus. There is much about the experiences I had in 2017 and 2022 that I have not shared. Over the years I have written succinctly on social media using hashtags like #NothingMatters, #BeTheBang, and #HashHow, sharing perspectives that seem connected to Tantric and other wisdom teachings. And my embrace of plurality was a response to those experiences and an effort to remain sane, settled and at ease with them.
Key features of those states of mind, that I am sure some bipolar and mad folks will share, are a profound sense of harmony and communion — a strong sense of connection to everything. Instead of chance, synchronicity emerges. I understand that harmony as connected to the teachings of Taoism. Intense feelings of love, bliss, and compassion also suffuse those unusual states of consciousness for me.
For some people those states are transitory and occur alongside other experiences and feelings that are challenging, sometimes to the point of being dangerous. For a lucky few they are more enduring and benign, without loss of contact with common reality. They are still heady and intense and, at least for me, disruptive. To experience both common and blissful reality for a significant period of time and remain sane is a transformative experience.
What I have so far learned about Tantra that is most appealing is its focus on the mundane. Even if it is possible to remain in contact with consensus reality while also experiencing those alternative states of consciousness, functioning in the day-to-day world is challenging, if not impossible for me when in those states. However, even before learning about Tantra, I had started to realize, with guidance from others, that there is a way of being that is less intense and more subtle, is informed by those alternative experiences of consciousness, and can enable a transcendent ease while living in common reality. That seems to be one of the goals of Tantra.
Across traditions and cultures, the characteristics of these experiences have consistency, though the teachings that attempt to enable us to share in their transcendent nature can be very different. That consistency is reassuring.
I am reminded of this lovely poem:
Brahma
Ralph Waldo Emerson
If the red slayer think he slays,
Or if the slain think he is slain,
They know not well the subtle ways
I keep, and pass, and turn again.
Far or forgot to me is near;
Shadow and sunlight are the same;
The vanished gods to me appear;
And one to me are shame and fame.
They reckon ill who leave me out;
When me they fly, I am the wings;
I am the doubter and the doubt,
I am the hymn the Brahmin sings.
The strong gods pine for my abode,
And pine in vain the sacred Seven;
But thou, meek lover of the good!
Find me, and turn thy back on heaven.